a_p_wyndham's commented: Your process is the antithesis of mine. Lol. I throw it out into the wild and just hope it lives its best life. 😂 For what it's worth, though, I don't know that, as a reader, it feels particularly rushed. If that's what you're feeling, I would assume it's between "I met a poem, I ran." and "Feet thrashing". Maybe just a couple of lines there to make the contextualization heavier would help? You could also toy with a few of the line breaks. But, as I said, it feels pretty good to me already.

Your process is the antithesis of mine. Lol. I throw it out into the wild and just hope it lives its best life. 😂

For what it's worth, though, I don't know that, as a reader, it feels particularly rushed. If that's what you're feeling, I would assume it's between "I met a poem, I ran." and "Feet thrashing".

Maybe just a couple of lines there to make the contextualization heavier would help? You could also toy with a few of the line breaks. 

But, as I said, it feels pretty good to me already.

0/500

lifeinslomo

Ofc, some poems i throw it out there and hope it survives too 🤣 Though, there are certain poems I'm mindful about. You guessed right. The problem is somewhere between the lines you've quoted. I had a pretty decent idea there before I ended up with that. But as it is, i discarded it because I didn't feel the tingle i get when I come up with a pretty good line lol. English isn't my main language and it sucks you know cos it shows. I'll work on the line breaks more. Thank you for your expert eyes 