my beloved heart i wished to letter a note of parting to our memories with stolen kohl of ur eyes on a friday night on how whimsical bedswerver creation could be if ink borrowed from love herself how i wished to see u convulse in floating guilt and birthing pain how i wished ah how i wished to not love you must i be a learner forever? god let her be just me and her her and me i forgive i forgive i do my tidious self o i do forgive before i sleep .. though seldomly but oow how i wished to feed ur cravings of intelligence , novels and intelluctualists how i wanna tear up my muscles make a morsel toasted from the fattiest mortal brought to your lips in face of famine and adversity darling my breath hitches at ur name while it's stuck on my tongue as ur image fogs so i kill a little and watch me burn but ah dear how i wished to be ashes that nourish ur garden and earthed fruits that you may eat and whose seeds forever carry me and you , you and me o my rii how i wished to please all your wishes