I'm not sure how to tell you how I feel and why I feel the way I do, When I have blocked a lot from memory because it is so painful for me to re-view. What scenes have pushed their way through are hard to understand, As without numbers there is no order to recollect no matter the demand. The monsters only come out at night as I try to fight them with my mind, But in reality all I can bear is to close my eyes tight and hope to leave them all behind. So I can't tell you what is wrong because that means I have to let them in, And how can I not become overwhelmed when their existence feels like a sin? Your silence is powerful as you take the time to find the words to say, But my mind is racing with questions and apologies which will inevitably blurt out while we lay. So I have to leave you to sleep while I fight these monsters elsewhere alone, As with an invisible enemy you cannot defend yourself and you will likely be cut deep to the bone. I love you and that doesn't change because of the broken film where the monsters hide, It just means we need to film our own movie and take our time while we stand side by side.