Maybe everything I've experienced, lived, and suffered is part of the plan. Maybe it's a sign from God, the universe, or life itself, telling me to stop. To stop seeking meaningless, emotionless, and meaningless experiences because that's all you'll ever find. If you long for love so much, stay alone. It's contradictory, but I understand. I came into this life to be alone, to die alone. And no, it's not something depressing or lonely. It's that breath of fresh air I was searching for in my life. I was becoming someone I wasn't to live up to someone else. Why? Did we really come into this life to live up to the standards of another human who's exactly like us? Because we have the need to prove ourselves. I feel like every time we try to prove something, we lose ourselves with every action that makes us less than ourselves. Why are humans meant to be with other people? I see love in everything I do and say. If it's love, aren't we surrounded by it? I think it lets us carry more of the feeling of having something that's ours, just for us. Something I can call "mine," that no other person shows that special love that he has for me. We are selfish beings. In every way. That's why I think everything I've seen as love was simply pure selfishness. How do we humans truly know what love is? We've only lived around for decades and decades seeing what supposedly makes us feel loved, but what if there was another way to love? What if there was another way to cut, search, and show that doesn't involve that selfishness? That feeling of loneliness even with someone? I feel like we haven't found what love means 100%. I think in this life I'll be alone. Because I doubt I'm missing out on anything.