He said I loved you first I forgave him before he even knew he was hurting me. No apology. Just me, giving all of me, Until there was nothing left but bone and regret and pieces of who I used to be. He didn't just take my love he took my strength. He took every last drop of the girl who survived a world the never wanted her. And I worry... That I am forever damaged because I chose him over me because I gave up on myself the way everyone else already had. You see I know that pain I had carried that pain like a second skin And still-- I did the same again. Why can I forgive him time and time and time again just to be shattered by the same hands that promised to hold me. He made me question my mind, my memory, my worth, my sanity, toxic love. Loyalty full of holes He was angry And I was naive I was just trying to feel whole in a world that never kept anything for me. People come in phases. Places change with season. Families fade. friends vanish. and I'm still here forgiving losing and wondering what the hell is wrong with me that they always leave and I hate it and somehow I end up believing it's me. What an ugly picture he painted of love. And how ugly is it that I still believe him sometimes instead of believing me. © Kyy Dawn