3:00. There is this feeling, I felt it last night, I wasn't mistaken nor taken to another place because I knew when I tried meditation, it just wouldn't go away. 3:15. I felt this late last night, no name to describe it no words can truly stay, it runs deep through my bones leaving me paralyzed, laying in my bed wide awake, feeling empty, forgotten, and vulnerable. 3:30. I see now why children are afraid of the dark, its nit the monsters under the bed... its the feeling of not under standing what the dark is. 3:45. It sneaks into my room, into my mind, breaking my soul, cracking my spirits, it sneaks into my bones through the cracks of the walls and the space under my door, through the light of the moon. 4:00. Some say insomnia, others say stress, and some say overthinking, but in reality its just excuses to describe something that no one truly understands. 4:15. It stays in my head until early morning when I finally go to sleep, but even then, it plagues my dreams. Black and cold, grey and old. 4:30. This feeling isn't terror, it isn't loneliness, it isn't something I can name, but i know it was there as if it left a bad lingering taste upon my mouth through the day. 4:45. Dare I say i had this feeling; no one will ever understand so keep your lips sealed and your thoughts in a hidden journal, no one will find. 5:00. It has no name, no face, no way of truly making itself known to be there, but i knew it was, I felt my childhood run away and I couldnt stop it ot convince it to stay, I felt it like everywhere night. 5:15 am... alarm set. Good morning ~saint