I loved my dad And I know I did But I also hated him Because he didn't try He was a drunk Had to go home My parents were never together And I never wanted them to be I loved my dad And his death does hurt But I makes jokes And others are surprised I've always joked that my dad left He lived in California while I don't But now I joke about his death And they say I shouldn't do that I miss him, I do But I was mad when he was alive Am I now not allowed to? He's gone, and I feel it But not as other would If they walked in my shoes They would feel much worse I cried a few days Now I laugh But it was recent and hurts They say not to laugh About those who have passed I'll never see him again He'll miss my graduation, But then again It's not all bad There's no alcohol wherever he is now It won't be a struggle for him to put it down. (Side note: I'm not graduated from high school yet and my dad died around 2 weeks ago. Although him and my mom were never together and I have an amazing step dad I loved my dad and always will. But he was an alcoholic and he let it rule his life. I feel I'm allowed to make jokes and be mad all that I want. He had split custody over me and my sister while he lived in our state but went back to California when his drinking got really bad to be with his parents so they could watch over him. He lived in Cali about 4 years before he died, so I didnt see him much but we talked over the phone semi-often.)