Heavenly sun, source of *euphoria*, and yet, a *pain* to look at. A paradox of light that, without caution, could make you blind. Just like the sun, she’s behind my smiles, but to look at her feels painful and undeserved. My chest would tighten; every glance ticked louder just like a bomb, about to explode. My dear sun, I hope one day I’ll be able to look at you again without the fear of getting scorched and blinded by my *own* reflection **in the gray light of missing you**.