I can't let go of things that meant a lot to me once I always think they can go back to the way they were I try to hold on so hard that I draw them black in every mind And then I tell myself that I always was the part to be kind I can’t stop myself from sharing every little detail about my soul I'm scared they won't see me as who I really am I try to be known so hard that I overpaint the image of me only one has to have And then I flee because I'm scared of being viewed how I view myself I can't keep in contact with whom i've had a connection once Because as soon as their gone I think it's easier with a knife in my chest than a letter from them in the mailbox I try to stay away to 'heal myself' and as soon as the other is healed from my betrayal I wish to connect again I cling to photos that are not of me or anyone I know I store old postcards of love I've never got to experience I keep lives I've never been bold enough to live I sing songs with storys behind them to important for me to understand I know myself so well that I sometimes can't stand being who I am And I write, sing, talk to create a new version I don't want to be myself, really I don't But I can’t help the privilege of knowing every flaw of my person