Confusion

9w • ©

What do you do when your light isn't so bright
When in the dark there isn't even a spark 
When you tried to run but it all caught up
When you're lost and can't be found
When you need a boost but your bound
I want to know because it feels I need to know
I need to know because I have to know

Comments(10)

0/500

k3333

In general, whatever you do, let it be a precise mechanism: something serves a purpose, something supports the structure, something adds emotion. And improvise — the world is endlessly random, but governed by strict rules. I may have written a bit too much, haha.

k3333

As for the content, you could describe reality even more vividly by adding something like a “light at the end of the tunnel,” so it really hurts in its honesty — I get the sense that this is what you were aiming for.

k3333

Technically, it’s coherent. In terms of content — honest and real; exactly how it should be. You might want to fix a small language detail: your lost → you’re lost (unless it’s time to abandon contractions altogether — just kidding).

dexy

Totally outstanding 🥲

amber_rose35

Please comment any changes I can improve on to make this poem better it's one of my favorite pieces so I would love to perfect it. 😊❤️