black_proses's commented: hiii. I'll leave some things you can (if you want to) do next time to improve. the poem itself is good. but if you want to improve it, I'd suggest you try and use the "I really want" less. Unless it's intentional, of course. There are a lot of ways to do it. One example is tell why, example: "I want to see myself go soft, in front of a guy who holds me gentle"

hiii. I'll leave some things you can (if you want to) do next time to improve. the poem itself is good. but if you want to improve it, I'd suggest you try and use the "I really want" less. Unless it's intentional, of course. There are a lot of ways to do it. One example is tell why, example: "I want to see myself go soft, in front of a guy who holds me gentle"

0/500

black_proses

I'd say just take my words if you want to. tho it wouldn't hurt to try. biggest tip is to try different styles of writing. personally, prose poetry works for my style and it also matches my thought process every time.