Why can’t I answer simple questions? Why do my words freeze when your voice turns sharp all of a sudden? I make mistakes but they don’t feel small. They never did. And when I tried to explain, you didn’t listen. You never fucking do. But yet i have to listen to you always or I'm considered a stupid fucking cunty mutt. You told me I should say “yes, Dad,” not just “yes.” But tell me why Why Why should I even call you that? After the things you’ve said? I cried not because I’m 'emotional and weak' not because I want to 'be beaten' but because your voice still lives in my nervous system. Even when my friends, family and loved ones raise their voices, even when someone scolds me gently I want to hide. I feel unsafe. All the time. Even when you’re not shouting, your words echo like they’re carved into the air. But you'll never understand Because you never listened When i always tried my best to listen to you. I hate you for what you did, for how you broke the daughter you prayed so hard for. I wish you never made me. Or maybe I wish you made me with love instead of anger. With softness, instead of storms.